Q. What Do the Following People Have in Common?
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"Baghdad Bob" |
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Richard Nixon |
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Bill Clinton |
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Pinocchio |
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Judas Iscariot |
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Benedict Arnold |
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Liar! Liar! |
Chris L'Orange |
Satan: Father of All Lies |
A. They're All Liars!
According to Law.com Dictionary, the definition for a word that seems to be highly appropriate for this page is:
"perjury
n. the crime of intentionally lying after being duly sworn (to tell the truth) by a notary public, court clerk or other official. This false statement may be made in testimony in court, administrative hearings, depositions, answers to interrogatories, as well as by signing or acknowledging a written legal document (such as affidavit, declaration under penalty of perjury, deed, license application, tax return) known to contain false information."
Now that we've got the settled, let's take a look at some of best lies (or acts of perjury) committed by the following liars. It should be noted that the lies that have been told by the Capella officials and employees (Offerman, Thom, Viechnicki, etc.) are so numerous that is is impossible to catalog all of them here as they would crash the server. As a result, we're posting just a few of the biggest lies told by each of them.
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"Baghdad Bob" (Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf) |
The Lie:
"There is no presence of American infidels in the city of Baghdad."
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Listen!
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The Lies:
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"I have never been involved in any lawsuit regarding a faculty member or instructional staff"
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"Plaintiff's tuition for the classes he left before completing was refunded; he only paid for those classes he completed."
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UPDATE on this lie - The illustrious Carol Hudson, from Capella's Accounts Payable Department, wrote a letter (dated January 23,2007) stating that "a routine audit" had discovered the the account still had an "outstanding as of the above date." Of course, that was more than a year AFTER Sir Chrisy the Sissy L'Orange had been told that the money "was never refunded." Why is it Sir Chrisy the Sissy didn't have a check sent but it took a "routine audit" conducted a year later to have a check sent?
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Richard Nixon |
The Lie:
"Well, I am not a crook. I've earned everything I've got." |
Listen!
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The Lies:
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I have not lied to Federal Agents.
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I do not now, nor have I ever engaged in retaliation against a student.
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I do not ignore University policy, written or otherwise.
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Bill Clinton |
The Lie:
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." |
Listen!
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The Lies:
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I am not a liar.
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I have not lied to Federal law enforcement agencies.
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I am not now, nor have I ever been, under investigation by Federal law enforcement agencies.
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Pinocchio |
The Lies:
Just too many to count! |
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The Lies:
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"At no time have I consulted with any Capella official concerning the posts I have made. . ."
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Judas Iscariot |
The Lies:
"Surely not I, Rabbi?"
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The Lie:
"This concern was created by material on La Marca's websites which contained my photograph and not only my mother's name, but her city of residence. I was particularly concerned about her because she is wheelchair bound. As a result, I met with and made a report to our police and requested their protection."
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Benedict Arnold |
The Lies:
Need we say more?
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The Lie:
"I am familiar with Plaintiff’s websites — www.capellauniversitv.org and www.capellanazis.com. In or around July 2005 I first visited those sites and reviewed disparaging statements about Capella."
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Liar! Liar! |
The Truth!:
Great Movie About a Sleazy Lying Lawyer! (Sound Familiar?)
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H. Christian L'Orange (Sir Chrisy the Sissy) |
The Lies:
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The plaintiff has "maintained for to five known active websites [sic] which contain in excess of 25,000 pages of material, as of 2005."
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Plaintiff "claims that a number of categories of documents were not produced in reponse to a Request for Production of Documents. . .In fact, all of these have been produced to his attorney." Liar, liar, liar!
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Satan: Father of All Lies |
The Lies:
Everything that he spews forth from any and all of his
orifices!
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